December 29, 2013: Mes Souers

So, this one is going to be hard.  It’s hard to write about two people you’ve known nearly forever!  Keep in mind, neither of these girls are actually my sisters, I have no biological sisters, but they might as well be.  They are two of the people who walked into my life, touched my heart, and they will never leave me.  It’s hard to know who to start with, because oddly, their stories don’t really combine well, but I need to choose one, so I suppose I’ll choose the er…”newer” of the two.  (I’ve only known her for eight years instead of 14…wow…!)

So…we met as sophomores in high school.  We were fifteen and it seems like ages ago, though, it definitely wasn’t!  You’ve been there for me through so much.  You’ve been there through a few quirky parts of high school, you’ve been there through rough patches in college, you’ve been there through auditions.  There’s so many things that I’ve called you about, that I’ve cried to you about.  You inspired me to run (which I do, a lot now 😉 ).  You always have an ear to listen.  Sometimes, especially recently, I get really bad about calling and texting.  I’m really sorry for that and I don’t have an excuse.  That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, that doesn’t mean you mean any less to me.

I’m trying to think if there’s one memory to describe our friendship (our sistership?)  Is it the many times we walked around in high school holding hands, because we were friends?  The times we went to visit each other in college?  Maybe it was the letter you wrote me when we graduated from high school?  I still have it!  Was it last year when after months of trying to find time to meet up we finally managed to get together for lunch?  Maybe the times I randomly stopped by to visit you at work?  There’s so many options.  Our relationship has been sporadic and crazy, lively and silly, filled with good memories and love.  I’m not sure there’s one memory that fulfills all those categories.  There’s one memory that pops into my head, and I’m not really sure why, because there are so many others.  We were freshman or sophomores?  Maybe juniors?  It was in high school and obviously the halls were still open, they aren’t any more.  Somehow we wound up laying on the couch-thing by the security desk outside the principals office (no we weren’t in trouble, just bored).  You were explaining to me that Fred was equally as relaxed perpendicular to the ground as parallel to it (long story if you don’t know her).  There was giggling smiling and all around silliness.  I think maybe that reminds me of you because we were both so relaxed, so happy, so silly, so us.  There are so many other memories.  Sitting in our college transcript advisers office filled with Mickey Mouse paraphernalia playing with her stuffed animals and entertaining her (or annoying her, not sure which), sitting in the library goofing around.  I think I like the memory I grabbed though because it’s at the core of our friendship.  When we finally can be relaxed and be around one another we are ourselves, and no one can take that away from us.  Our paths have split some over the years and we’re in very different places now, but we still love each other and I know I can still rely on you, I hope you know you can still rely on me.  I miss you all the time.  Your picture is still in my apartment.  I’ve always felt lucky to have you as my “sister” and I hope you know I still love you dearly.  For putting up with my silliness, for comforting me, and for always being there: thank you and know, despite my ditziness the last year and a half I still love you and I am still grateful for all you do.

Now, how on earth am I supposed to fit fourteen years into a couple paragraphs.  Well, I really, really can’t! 😛  There’s something I think I can focus on with you though, something easy to describe us.  No, not years and years of ridiculous sleepovers with insanely silly truth or dare games, nor the years of trick-or-treating together, years of being in school together, or eating lunch together.  Nope.  It’s the time I thought I lost you, and I thought it was forever.  There was a period (and I’ve never told you this) during our senior year of high school through maybe junior year of college?  We stopped talking, almost completely.  Maybe there was an occasional phone call.  A random e-mail, but there was nothing of the closeness we used to have.

There were many reasons for this.  I know some, I can guess at others.  During senior year of high school it killed me to not have you by my side.  I mean, good things come out of a change of pace and some did, for both of us, stronger friendships with other people, but it still killed me that you weren’t there.  The pain eased the longer we were apart and the less we talked to each other, I think maybe for both of us, so we stopped talking, almost completely.  And then, we started again.  It was decidedly strange!  Seeing how we had both matured and grown, the things we’d gone through, the differences we still had, the similarities that were still there, and the new commonalities that had evolved in our time apart.  When we started meeting up again it was once, maybe twice a year, if we were lucky.  Sometimes it was just a chat conversation.  It didn’t really matter.  I think we were both a little cautious after being apart from each other so long.  And then, it didn’t matter anymore.  Suddenly when we saw each other, neither of us was at all guarded.  We started talking as if we had never been apart.  That’s us though.  We’ve always had our ups and downs.  We’ve always run hot and cold with each other, but somehow, we always come back together.  I mean, there’s got to be something tying us together if our friendship/sistership has lasted fourteen years!  (Really, really???  How did that happen?)  I suppose, even when we drift apart again, which, I’m sure, will undoubtedly happen sometime, I can definitely take comfort in knowing that we will always come back together, somehow.  It won’t always make sense, but it will happen.  It’s one of those funny parts of life, one of the few I can be reasonably sure of! 😉

So, thank you, both of you!  I love you both so much and I’m so grateful for the tears, the smiles, the giggles, and the silliness you’ve both put up with over the years.  I love you both so dearly and I’m so thankful that you were both willing to be my surrogate sisters.  Thank you for all the years of love, friendship, and support.  I love you both, dearly!

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